


Make You See

by masterassassin



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Body Image, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 10:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7312126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterassassin/pseuds/masterassassin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"As Brendon entered the room Dallon was standing in front of the full-body mirror, just in his briefs, one hand low on his stomach, shirt still dangling from his wrist. Brendon felt something heavy like despair settle in his gut almost instantly and braced himself for what was inevitably going to happen as soon as he walked over to stand behind Dallon."</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://ficbook.net/readfic/4524400">Translated into Russian by kristina!</a>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make You See

**Author's Note:**

> This one deals with a really sensitive topic so please be careful when reading it.
> 
> This is focused on Dallon's possible body image issues and not his apparent overall insecurities about his talents. I might write one going more into that direction one day, but probably not too soon as this was quite emotionally draining to write because I know people affected by it.
> 
>  
> 
> for someone special who’s really dear to my heart, even though you won't see this  
> and in remembrance of something that once was
> 
>  
> 
> [translation into Russian by kristina here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/4524400)

As Brendon entered the room Dallon was standing in front of the full-body mirror, just in his briefs, one hand low on his stomach, shirt still dangling from his wrist. Brendon felt something heavy like despair settle in his gut almost instantly and braced himself for what was inevitably going to happen as soon as he walked over to stand behind Dallon.   
Dallon flinched and went to pull the shirt over his head again but Brendon was quick to put a gentle hand on his to stop him.   
  
“Please,” Brendon said quietly and he was shocked at how quickly Dallon let his hand sink down again. Showing nothing of the usual defensive behaviour Brendon was used to by now. Dallon’s gaze fell to the ground and he just let the shirt drop.   
  
“I’m just,” Dallon swallowed hard, “I was going to take a shower.” He went to leave the room but Brendon closed his fingers a little more tightly over his wrist.   
  
“I’m not sure you should leave right now. Stay, please?” Brendon requested, voice low. He felt a lump form in his throat. God, he hated these moments so much.   
Dallon sighed heavily and what sounded like in defeat and stopped walking away.   
  
“What do you want me to say, Brendon?” He sounded like all fight was drained out of him and it made tears prickle at the corners of Brendon’s eyes.   
  
Brendon took a ragged breath and had to clear his throat before he could speak again.   
“Please just, come back here, okay?” He tugged at Dallon’s wrist lightly and Dallon went with the movement until he was standing in front of the mirror again, not looking at his reflection, hands hanging limply at his sides.   
  
Brendon stood slightly to the right behind Dallon so he was able to see both of them. He put his hand on Dallon’s right hip bone and Dallon’s eyes flickered up momentarily so they were looking at each other through the mirror, then his gaze was on the floor again.   
Brendon slowly, oh so slowly slid his hand inwards to rest low on Dallon’s abdomen, tracing the soft skin there. Dallon sucked in his stomach as if on instinct and it made Brendon swallow hard.   
  
“Sshh, it’s alright it’s just me,” Brendon mumbled, placing a small kiss on Dallon’s shoulder and felt him relax incrementally. The fact that it seemed like a great achievement to Brendon made his throat close up.   
  
Brendon lifted his other hand and slid it carefully over Dallon’s side to the middle of his soft stomach, stilling just above his navel. Brendon didn’t understand how Dallon was so insecure about his body,  _ hated  _ it at times just like this. He was absolutely beautiful and it made Brendon all choked up to see him like this. There had been a handful of times shortly after they’d gotten together where Dallon hadn’t even wanted to pull of his shirt during sex and at one point he’d actually left their shared bed to sleep on the couch because he didn’t want Brendon to touch him. Brendon would be lying if he said he hadn’t cried himself to sleep that night.   
  
Luckily Dallon had gotten better over the years, but once every few months Brendon would catch him staring in the mirror for too long, tensing as Brendon touched him, or leaving his shirt on even when it was ninety degrees outside and there was no one around but them and their dogs. It broke Brendon’s heart and he wished he could shake him to make Dallon see what he saw. But no matter how many times Brendon told Dallon how much he loved every pound on his body, even the small folds of skin forming over the waistband of his jeans, Dallon was never convinced.   
  
Brendon’s arms tightened around Dallon and he pressed a lingering kiss to the nape of Dallon’s neck.   
“Please, look up.” Dallon shifted on his feet but didn’t raise his head.   
  
“For me, come on.” Dallon slowly looked up, hesitantly and locked eyes with Brendon through the reflection.   
“Look at yourself.”   
  
Dallon’s gaze didn’t leave Brendon’s for a few long minutes before he slowly shifted his eyes down his own body. Brendon could see him bite his lip. He started kissing a line from Dallon’s shoulder blade up to just below his ear, getting up on his tiptoes to do so. All the while he was gently stroking over Dallon’s stomach.   
  
“I love you.” Brendon saw Dallon’s jaw work and he turned his head to the side, staring out the window. Brendon’s nails dug into the soft skin for a second and he had to press his face against Dallon’s neck to suppress a quiet sob. He had to stay strong, for Dallon.   
  
“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He wanted to ingrain the words in Dallon’s whole being, fill him up with them and make him  _ see!  _ They just stood there silently for a long time.   
  
Suddenly, Dallon’s hands closed over Brendon’s on his body and Brendon braced himself for Dallon to try and pull them away. But he didn’t.   
  
“Please, don’t cry.” Dallon said softly, his fingers tracing over Brendon’s. Brendon hadn’t even really noticed the wetness escaping his eyes.   
“I hate it when you cry, even more so when it’s because of me.”   
  
Brendon inhaled deeply and then pushed his forehead against Dallon’s shoulder before looking up.   
“I just. I love you so much, you are literally my everything and I just wish you could love yourself just as much.”   
  
A sad little smile formed on Dallon’s lips and he turned around, Brendon’s hands slipping to his hips.   
“I know, and I’m trying to get better. I promise.” He lifted his hands to Brendon’s face, framing it and then leaned in to kiss him.   
“I love you, too.” Dallon exhaled the words against Brendon’s lips and Brendon’s hands tightened on his skin before he moved them to the small of Dallon’s back, drawing him in.   
  
“Hey, I’m the one supposed to comfort you here, remember? This isn’t about me,” Brendon said with a watery laugh.   
  
“I know, and thank you.Thank you so much! It must be so hard for you and I’m sorry for causing you so much pain,” Dallon pressed his forehead to Brendon’s, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”   
  
Brendon pulled him down into a deep kiss, trying to pour as much emotion into it as he could and Dallon melted right into it.   
  
It would probably still take a long time for Dallon to accept his body as it was and feel good about himself, but this was a start. Brendon smoothed his hands over Dallon’s skin and smiled as Dallon pulled him closer to himself.


End file.
